I’ve been kind of quiet lately, taking in the rapid-fire changes going on in our world.
So much to process.
I feel many things, but the biggest is hope. Hope in that the opportunity for change is before us, the call to make the world a more beautiful place is here. And as we navigate this opportunity together it is more important than ever that we are clear about what world it is we want to create… for this is the fundamental level at which we sell, it is the bottom line of all our heartfelt offers.
And while I am hopeful, my feeds have been full of seeing downright frustration in people’s ability to “sell” others on what they feel collectively needs to happen to bring forth a more beautiful world. The conversation broken down into “sides”, each progressively getting more violent in their communications, and hence, sadly less effective in their ability to “sell” another on what they want to happen.
In the last few days, I started to see people genuinely asking for help, feeling passionate about their stances and yet feeling utterly powerless in their strategies to affect others to change. Realizing shame and blame and even facts are not the vehicles with which to move people. Beyond right or wrong, simply ineffective.
And here’s where I feel moved to speak up, after 24 years of practice and hundreds of thousands of selling exchanges, I can share with a lot of confidence that the only way to sell another on the deeper things we want to happen, is from a space where we feel connected. The work is to get to this place. Connection IS the goal…. it is where truth emerges. Both parties ARE always transformed in that space. Selling always becomes a mutual exchange. It has nothing to do with making the person we want to “buy” from us change in any way, but a willingness in how we engage another to be changed ourselves. This creates an alchemical process that leaves both parties transformed. It requires digging into our own selves, our own hearts to really see the threads that unite us and another (and they are always there). If we are willing to surrender our ideas of what we think is right or wrong, we can surrender to the “rightness” of whatever outcome connection with another brings us.
This takes real courage.
This takes going against everything our culture has ever taught us; which is to disconnect, fight and push through to “make things happen.”
There is an opportunity before us to transform our culture into one that affirms life. This is the call to end war; against each other, against ourselves, against nature and our home itself. I truly believe this is what we all desire. And when I hold that firm in my heart and approach others with the certainty that they want this too I always find a connection with another. This can look like engaging with someone espousing a very violent strategy, but I hold in my heart the certainty that this is a strategy this person feels will get to the same goal I want. It is not the fundamental desire that is different, it is in strategies to get there. When we see another for who they truly are, a human with the same exact fundamental needs and longings as us, we choose what is life-affirming. Like a miracle, we create the world we want to live in right in the here and now.
We ARE that powerful.
“We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.”
― William James
It is time to dive deep with each other… selling, the fundamental way we share what’s in our hearts and ask for the things we need from each other, our portal.
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